By Jerry J. Brown
Eleven years ago when America's cremation rate hovered at 23.1%, I wrote an article that posed the question: "If people continue to choose cremation in lieu of interment (earth burial), what could ultimately happen to the future of academic and scientific processes involving the tracing, tracking and extrapolations of the origin, evolution and metamorphosing of humankind, vis-à-vis bone/skeletal existence i.e. retort pulverization?"
I must admit that my original article was written mostly in a satirical or tongue-in-cheek vein but with the near certainty that despite my attempt at a tad of humor and a little bit of levity, there would be a fire storm of dissent and antipathy from certain members of CANA, the Memorial Societies and Richter-Scale readings from the owners and operators of crematories galore. Fear of fall-out and prop-wash notwithstanding, I wrote the piece and here we go again.
2nd Verse same song.
The rise of America¹s cremation factor during the past four and a half decades has been mercurial i.e. 3.5 % in 1960 to 23.1% in the 2000's. The reasons, motivations and value judgments vis-à-vis disposition of deceased persons still remain somewhat unclear & theoretical e.g. economic, societal, logistics, environmental, academic, intellectual, religious, cultural, ad infinitum.
So, statistics, theories, figures, facts and intellectual judgments concerning cremation vs. burial notwithstanding, what might happen to the sciences of archeology, anthropology and paleontology if and when there are no bones left to study?!?
The world's museums have relied on bones for eons to trace the evolution of man, mammal, fish and fowl. Carbon, DNA, fossils and dental records aside, we will always need "BONES" to differentiate between Dr. Leaky's 1.2 million year old Hominid, Homo Erectus and the Australopithecus Afarensic of 3 million years ago.
Heaven forbid when the time-worn axioms of "make no bones about it" or, "I've got a bone to pick with you" are no more. Further, consider the World's closets without "at least, a skeleton or two?"
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Together - the Only Way to Fly
By Jerry J. Brown
As I look back with an element of editorial analysis, probably one-in-five of my death/life care articles have engaged themes that espouse the axioms of "one-for-all-and-all-for-one" and "the power is in the plurality."
Maybe my tendency to return to the "glory belongs to the group ideology" reflects a relentless belief in "group endeavor" and a coalescence of mind, spirit, academic evaluation and, ultimately, the objective of "advise and consent."
On a cold and rainy day in November of 1863, the ethos and eloquence of Abraham Lincoln described the very essence of coalescence and unanimity when he said, "A government of the people, by the people and for the people"
More than ever before, we must learn to involve, function, consider, commit and carry forth with communal purpose and collegiality if the quintessence of human existence is ever achieved.
Lofty, high sounding words indeed, but consider the following:
Democracy flourishes vis-à-vis the decisions and actions of many.
- Dictatorships are the scourge of people involvement and group action i.e. merely one or at best, a very few.
- America's legal, economic, industrial, health, ecological and moral codes and conditions represent the mosaic and architecture of multitudes.
- And from the global dynamic to our state and local environments; where would Minnesota Funeral service be today if our profession had functioned individually (without MFDA) for the past 119 years?
Ergo, where would the hundreds of Minnesota (and regional) children be today without the cathartic progress and therapeutic miracles created by the kindness, love, understanding and professional guidance of the legions of Camp Amanda (aka Hearts of Hope) leaders and volunteers who continue to commit to their care & healing.
Last Month marked my 50th MFDA Convention and although I was there as a newly inducted member of the "long-in-the-tooth society," I was just as impressed with the values, ethics, programs, objectives, endeavors and above all ITS PEOPLE as I was when I first walked through her hallowed portals in 1958.
So, BRAVO, OLE and A THOUSAND THANKS to the leaders, staff and members of the Minnesota Funeral Directors Association for all you do to preserve, protect and enhance the sociological imperatives of the profession.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Grief Shared is Grief Diminised
By Jerry J. Brown
The Children’s Grief Connection (formerly Camp Amanda) was born in the Fall of 2000 and the first Camp Amanda Grief Resolution Gathering was held at Camp Friendship in Annandale, Minnesota in January 2003.
I was fortunate to attend the first camp…rode horseback with Art Dingmann into Camp Courage as part of our 2007 Horseback for Hope Odyssey…and was drafted for “KITCHEN K-P (pots and pans) during last month’s conclave.
The eloquent and comprehensive prose of Coral Popowitz apprises us monthly of the plans, programs, visions and activities of the children’s program so my comments will simply describe what I have seen, heard, experienced and absorbed since camp #1.
THE KIDS:
From the innocence, love, honesty and unbridled candor of the children came a rush of emotions within me that belied the myth, “grown men should never cry.”
Yes, I cried.
I cried when seven year old Matthew showed me his photo wallet that was replete with snapshots of his dad whom had died in a construction accident two months earlier.
When the adorable Matthew learned of my Montana buffalo ranch he spent the next three hours telling his newly-found friends that “he was moving to Jerry Brown’s ‘farm’ to ride horses like he and his dad had done the week before he was killed.”
On the last day of camp, Matthew gave me one of the pictures in his ‘dad-wallet.’
I cried when I overheard two 8 year old girls sharing their feelings about how breast cancer had caused the death of their mothers and why couldn’t doctors find a cure?”
I cried when a young girl wrote on ‘the anger wall,’ “Mommy, why didn’t you quit smoking like you promised us?”
I cried when a 9 year old boy, between gut-wrenching sobs and barely audible words, revealed that his little brother had drowned in the Snake River while the family was vacationing in Wyoming.
And I wept when a brother and sister asked a counselor, “Why God had allowed their mother to die and make them feel so sad?”
THE KIDS AND THE WONDERFUL STAFF AND VOLUNTEERS:
I cried and silently cheered as I watched the bittersweet events of each gathering unfold and I shall always believe that CAMP AMANDA (a.k.a. HEARTS OF HOPE) is the quintessential achievement of Minnesota Funeral Service
A thousand accolades and 10,000 thanks to Coral, Steve, the staff, the directors, the volunteers, our omnipresent photographer KEN PETERSON and above all…to the parents and young people who have discovered HOPE and HEALING through the shining epiphanies of each journey.
So, emanating from the essence and eloquence of the verse – GOD GAVE US MEMORY SO WE WOULD HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER – may the memories of each and every child be tender, loving and filled with happiness and hope.
Ergo, let us never forget that “grief shared is indeed grief diminished” and upon this moving and resonant truism, the CHILDRENS GRIEF CONNECTION was born and lives as a gift from those who truly care…or, as the kids would say, “GOOD GRIEF, CHARLIE BROWN!”
The Children’s Grief Connection (formerly Camp Amanda) was born in the Fall of 2000 and the first Camp Amanda Grief Resolution Gathering was held at Camp Friendship in Annandale, Minnesota in January 2003.
I was fortunate to attend the first camp…rode horseback with Art Dingmann into Camp Courage as part of our 2007 Horseback for Hope Odyssey…and was drafted for “KITCHEN K-P (pots and pans) during last month’s conclave.
The eloquent and comprehensive prose of Coral Popowitz apprises us monthly of the plans, programs, visions and activities of the children’s program so my comments will simply describe what I have seen, heard, experienced and absorbed since camp #1.
THE KIDS:
From the innocence, love, honesty and unbridled candor of the children came a rush of emotions within me that belied the myth, “grown men should never cry.”
Yes, I cried.
I cried when seven year old Matthew showed me his photo wallet that was replete with snapshots of his dad whom had died in a construction accident two months earlier.
When the adorable Matthew learned of my Montana buffalo ranch he spent the next three hours telling his newly-found friends that “he was moving to Jerry Brown’s ‘farm’ to ride horses like he and his dad had done the week before he was killed.”
On the last day of camp, Matthew gave me one of the pictures in his ‘dad-wallet.’
I cried when I overheard two 8 year old girls sharing their feelings about how breast cancer had caused the death of their mothers and why couldn’t doctors find a cure?”
I cried when a young girl wrote on ‘the anger wall,’ “Mommy, why didn’t you quit smoking like you promised us?”
I cried when a 9 year old boy, between gut-wrenching sobs and barely audible words, revealed that his little brother had drowned in the Snake River while the family was vacationing in Wyoming.
And I wept when a brother and sister asked a counselor, “Why God had allowed their mother to die and make them feel so sad?”
THE KIDS AND THE WONDERFUL STAFF AND VOLUNTEERS:
I cried and silently cheered as I watched the bittersweet events of each gathering unfold and I shall always believe that CAMP AMANDA (a.k.a. HEARTS OF HOPE) is the quintessential achievement of Minnesota Funeral Service
A thousand accolades and 10,000 thanks to Coral, Steve, the staff, the directors, the volunteers, our omnipresent photographer KEN PETERSON and above all…to the parents and young people who have discovered HOPE and HEALING through the shining epiphanies of each journey.
So, emanating from the essence and eloquence of the verse – GOD GAVE US MEMORY SO WE WOULD HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER – may the memories of each and every child be tender, loving and filled with happiness and hope.
Ergo, let us never forget that “grief shared is indeed grief diminished” and upon this moving and resonant truism, the CHILDRENS GRIEF CONNECTION was born and lives as a gift from those who truly care…or, as the kids would say, “GOOD GRIEF, CHARLIE BROWN!”
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Cowboys and Indians Grieve Too
By Jerry J. Brown
Montana is full of cowboys and Indians. How then do the two cultures sociologically respond to death and the funeral (memorial) ceremony?
COWBOYS –
Death’s inevitability is regarded with stoicism.
Wrenching, violent death is frequent given the ranch environment i.e. horses, cattle, bison and the daily animal/human encounters
The relative isolation and distance factors that impact upon Montana ranchers seem to draw the people closer vis-à-vis the bonds of camaraderie and similar work endeavors i.e. cattle, horses, sheep, etc. Hence, the death of a neighboring rancher, friend or acquaintance demands a response.
Funerals in the early frontier days were an integral part of the cowboy’s ethic and ideology. People were moved to pay their respects and when words of sympathy failed to flow, just being there with Stetson-in-hand and a touch, tear and smile said it all.
INDIANS –
“Hoka Hey!” Today is a good day to die. (Sioux Indian war cry)
The American Plains Indians revered their ancestors for the indignities and oppression they endured for over 150 years.
Even today, the lives of chiefs and warriors long ago deceased are honored in ceremonies of prayer, music and dancing.
Plains Indians (Crow, Lakota, Cheyenne et al) used to place their dead on tree scaffolds surrounded by their personal possessions.
The Crow people will always keep the beliefs and spiritual meaning of the old ways for we die as we have lived…with dignity and honor.
Sitting Bull asked his people to mourn for the ‘white soldiers’ killed in the battle of Little Big Horn, June 25, 1876.
No one must die alone and their bodies left unknown in unmarked graves in strange, faraway places – everyone must be remembered, honored and placed for timeless revisiting.” (Captain Frederick Benteen, 1879, 3 years after the Battle of the Little Big Horn)
On June 25, 1876, Half Yellowface, Arikara Scout for Custer, solemnly proclaimed to Mitch Bouyer, one of Custer’s men, “You and I are going home today – by a trail that is strange to both of us.”
And so they died.
Epilogue: Yes. Cowboys and Indians do indeed believe in the sociological values of THE FUNERAL.
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Funeral. A Road to Recovery
by Jerry J. Brown
Preface: Among all of life’s experiences, the death of someone dear to us penetrates the very core of all that we feel, think and do. From death, the funeral embodies the equation for our recovery process as it:
Provides order and direction in the shock waves of our loss. . .
Transmits tranquility in the turbulence of our pain and despair. . .
Summons strength, acceptance and resolve from the depths of our grief. . .
Brings people together to share the intimacies of our sorrow. . .
Manifests our beliefs through the many ceremonies of choice. . .
Guides us in the mosaic of alternatives which fulfill our most private and personal needs. . .
And above all, the funeral bears eloquent testimony to the life and legacy of one whom was known, loved, honored and remembered.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Ironies of Sorrow and Joy
By Jerry J. Brown
Herewith is a portion of a recent speech given by Jerry Brown which underscores the ironies of sorrow and joy.
"No pain, no gain” was the distance runners’ battle cry of the early 1980’s. In a far more eloquent and fluent persuasion, the immortal Kahil Gibran wrote in his timeless classic, THE PROPHET: “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self same well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with tears.”
And Gibran describes with metaphorical brilliance the independence of sorrow and joy, trauma and artistry…
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
“Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that burned in the potter’s oven?”
“And is not the flute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?”
"No pain, no gain” was the distance runners’ battle cry of the early 1980’s. In a far more eloquent and fluent persuasion, the immortal Kahil Gibran wrote in his timeless classic, THE PROPHET: “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self same well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with tears.”
And Gibran describes with metaphorical brilliance the independence of sorrow and joy, trauma and artistry…
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
“Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that burned in the potter’s oven?”
“And is not the flute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?”
He concludes with the compelling postulation, "When you are joyous look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy."
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Ironies of Death and the Funeral
By Jerry Brown
When we consider the PAIN that cascades upon us with the death of one beloved and the catharsis that THE FUNERAL evokes, it is a study in absolute irony.
Since the dawn of humankind and in every global culture and society, DEATH is the common denominator of PAIN. PAIN in the forms of shock, disbelief, denial, sorrow, loneliness and profound despair. Then wondrously, out of the darkest corridors of hopelessness and debilitating grief, THE FUNERAL activity and ceremony begin to OPEN – THE DOORS of acceptance, hope and YES celebration for the life that has been lived with love, purpose, understanding and elegance.
DEATH and the FUNERAL – not a contradiction but a bitter-sweet synergy of LIFE!
When we consider the PAIN that cascades upon us with the death of one beloved and the catharsis that THE FUNERAL evokes, it is a study in absolute irony.
Since the dawn of humankind and in every global culture and society, DEATH is the common denominator of PAIN. PAIN in the forms of shock, disbelief, denial, sorrow, loneliness and profound despair. Then wondrously, out of the darkest corridors of hopelessness and debilitating grief, THE FUNERAL activity and ceremony begin to OPEN – THE DOORS of acceptance, hope and YES celebration for the life that has been lived with love, purpose, understanding and elegance.
DEATH and the FUNERAL – not a contradiction but a bitter-sweet synergy of LIFE!
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